Thursday, July 23, 2009
God
make me strong
make me wise
to help the people
who needs me
to comfort the people
who are in sadness
to be strong
for the people
who needs to be hold on
God
be with the people
who needs you
who seeks you
who needs strength
bring everybody to you
the undesireable
the untouchable
the unflavoured
bless her with good result
bless her with good health
(21:49)
this has been a while since i last typed something into this space of mine.. all because of viruses and technology that is to be blamed.. but if i blame technology, it would be silly and stupid because.. there won't be computer or even blogs that tells our stories..
probably it's a good thing that viruses invaded.. somehow, without going online, i can get the excuse of sleeping earlier than before, that is, like as early as 9 at night.. have good night rest and wake up early to work fresh.. :)
this few days i have been jogging around my neighbourhood, early in the morning( due to sleeping early at night) before i go to work.. and i found out that it's really nice to have a run somehow.. keeps your mind fresh and off a lot of things..
full time work is not a joke.. it can be a torture for some or an enjoyment for others.. it's totally different from being a trainee.. more responsibilities.. but the stress is more or less there.. this is my second week.. but i have already feel that everything is weighing down on me everyday.. i guess i need to let it all down..
sometimes, somehow, i feel like closing up is a better choice than sharing.. why do i say that? hmmm.. because.. by closing up, you won't get hurt that much, you won't depend on people that is around you and that you won't burden them.. at the same time, let the problems out with tears.. but there's cons.. you will feel very terrible, very lonely, very tired and weary.. keeping all of that in your heart may make you strong.. but lets you fall deeper and deeper into depression..
so which one will you choose?? hmmmm....
hope i wish i can leave this country now for a while and enjoy outside the world.. being carefree.. and out of the problems..
but i have God to take them away..
So God..
take all the problems away..
just for now..
that's all i'm asking for..
hope that you're doing well
hope that you're coping with your studies
jia you :)
Labels: closing up, problems
(20:24)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Crying
as i was talking to Auntie Candy(Jovin's mum) this afternoon, somehow, we talked to the topic of crying.. she said that crying makes a person feel better.. makes a person feel happy..
i feel like crying..
tears are welling up in my eyes..
but they seems not to be heavy..
nor do they have the thought of leaving..
thus..
no tears are shed..
not like Jovin..
she has the freedom..
to cry free..
to laugh free..
without any restriction..
i feel like crying..
all feelings inside..
they just tired me down..
tears bring feelings out..
but..
no tears are out..
so..
feelings are still..
inside..
Will anyone cares about how i feel?
am i too understanding?
am i taken for granted?
i don't know..
please come back..
God take me..
Labels: crying
(20:44)
Saturday, July 11, 2009
i'm so happy that my attachment is OVER!! WHOO OH!!!
erm... that's kinda late.. because today's already Saturday.. and 2 more days, i'll be starting my full time job.. and i ended my attachment on Monday.. so ya.. 5 days LATE!!
for the past few days, i have been busy.. hmmm.. you all must be wondering, why attachment finished still busy.. haha.. that's because i was in the "food team" for a event in church that was held yesterday, called 中华英雄.. it has a theme of everything China, from food to dressing to booth, and even drama based on chinese history!! and Emmanuel SPEAKS chinese! problem is he's a INDIAN!! cool!! everybody is in their best from China, from ancient generals to scholars to chinese heros to BEGGERS to PRISONERS to modern shanghai wear.. super cool!! and Region A got the BEST Food, YCG Male Leader and Staff!! Ultra COOL!!
Huan Zhu Ge Ge~~!!!
Long Live Begger Leader Ting Chun!
Best Dress Male YCG Leader - Dixon
Best Booth - Region C
Best Food - Region A
last Tuesday went to bird pask some how, because my friend forgot to let her supervisor to sign her logbook.. so somehow, i got to tour the bird park for FREE!! how cool is that?! haha!! watch the bird show and the birds(of course!)
through this past week, i have seen how selfish people are and their way of don't-care-ness.. props undone, and no one to help.. but they want to win.. how? haiz.. i hope something will change from this lesson..
to the someone(you know who you are):
i know that this few days, you have went through a lot.. but God is always there for you.. though you're tired, you can tab to God's unlimited strength.. life's short.. but though short, you will be with her forever with God forever in heaven, beside God. meanwhile, remember her in your sweetest and the best memories that you have with her.. because God has saved her for you..
(20:11)
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
first and foremost,
Happy Youth Day
to all the kids reading :D
hmmm.. today i wasn't at work.. took a 1 day(or maybe 2 days) MC.. because i have developed some H1N1 symtoms - Cough, Flu, Sore Throat.. so to be social responsibility, i have seen a doctor, took medicine and MC.. but ending up, my work's piling up.. it's like if i take another day MC tomorrow, i'll be so dead when i go back, but if i go work tomorrow, i'll be dead because of the sickness.. i really don't know what to do..
i didn't even go for YCG.. i miss going YCG on Wednesday.. haiz.. i feel like i'm isolating myself today..:(
something about me when i'm sick..
i get kinda moody and emo whenever i'm sick.. and i will be sad, upset, and depressed.. i don't know why.. but i just feel that way.. and also.. i may just say things that will be very hurtful and i don't really mean them.. because i tend to think a lot during the resting time.. so things are just rubbish whenever i'm sick.. very negative and depressed...
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
you are not alone - Michael Jackson
(20:54)