Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.


Patrick Ethan Goh
wishing to be a teacher
loves to cooking
hates bacstabbers
hates being taken for granted
loves God
loves you
loves chocolates






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After telling someone about this..
I think everybody is ought to know this..
something about me..

Sometimes..
I look very quiet..
like don't feel like talking..
Whether we are going out..
or just havig dinner..
whether is it a group of guys or girls..
I would be like that..
it's not that..
I don't havae anything to talk about..
but I just don't know what to talk about..
if you're being offended by my behavior..
Just want to say..
I'm sorry..
I tried very hard to change..
and never stop to not to change..
since young..
i was a loner..
didn't even go out until around Sec 3..
parents don't allow..
strict rules..
don't know why too..
so less intereaction with the people outside..
every day would just go home after school...
Please give me some time..
Pray for me..
thankz..

About the past week..
was a not bad week..
tough week..
for the first few days of the week..
sleep in the bunk..
like nobody's business..
maybe to store up for the last 2 days of torture..
didn't sleep at all..
outfield all the way..
until yesterday afternoon then go back camp..

Being the last outfield..
I have to say this..
WE DID WELL!!
Never have we gone through all this before..
never to rest more than 2 hours..
having to go from one deployment site to another..
with time limit..
BUT WE DID IT~~!!

This is to the section that i'm in..
Well done Guys..
Since all of us are going to ORD soon..
Joel going first..
Then the rest of us..
But hope we have a gathering somewhere outside..
outside camp, of course..
All the best for to all the things that you all are doing..
after we ORD..
studying..
working..
And God Bless..
ORD LOR~!!
HU HA~~!!

And to the new specialists and officers and men..
if they get to see this..
All the best in the army..
with a new BC..
hope he treat you all well..
nice knowing you all..
soon..
it will be your turn..
and i have 2 words for you~~
ORD LOR~!!

To think of it..
2 years in army..
seems short..
but it's not short..
seems long..
but it's not long..
with a blink of an eye..
2 years have passed..
lots of thing happened..
tough training..
"Tough times don't last.. Tough men do.."
friendships bonded..
just like what my Sec school friend said..
"Wah~ I have known you for 10 years liao lor.. That's fast.."
Indeed..
since 10 years is fast..
2 years is fast..

Yesterday's service..
"Trapped"
Very powerful..
drama is good..
message is powerful..
People are trapped somehow or another..
from sin..
7 deadly sins..
But JESUS can SET you FREE~!!
AMEN~!
Well done, Region D..
For putting up this great show..

Hmmm..
i think God is asking me...
asking me to give up..
things that not suppose to be mine..
things that i don't suppose to have..
hmm....
guess i will just have to obey..
God..
You help me..
help me get right with you..
depend on you more..

sorry for the very very long entries..
Hehe..
And by the way..
First of May will be an outing..
Anybody interested..
please message me..
or call better..
Thankz..
Have a good week ahead~!

ORD LOR~~!!



Hey everybody..

Thought of writing a blog early this week.. Very sian though..

Well.. Just came back from 3 days of mentally, phyically torturing training.. Also you can called it "A Mega Feasting for the Mositques".. Haha.. We called them "The Commandos".. Because they can just bite through our uniform and sting us like crazy.. Scratching here and there.. Hitting here and there.. Well.. Thank God that I brought the So-called Most effective and Most Popular in my team.. THE MOSITQUE COIL~ Especially in the night, before sleeping.. I would light one coil of that and I can sleep like a pig.. Soundly through the night.. Althought we were not allow to.. Hmm..

We also gave that Idiot new names.. My section mates should know.. "Pool Of S**t" and "Chicken Poo"~~ Haha.. Sick and tired of himself.. Always say things that cannot be done.. "Ask him to do it since he said he can do it.. Ask him to show it to us.." I said.. Well.. He just sucks..

Then this morning I messaged my G12 leader about the G12 yesterday.. Because my G12 only left 1 more week, which is yesterday, to get certified.. But the problem is that I went for outfield training yesterday night.. and also Nicholas went for reservice in Tekong.. So all of us were like very scared that we would just wasted all the effort for the past 7 weeks.. So all of us is like praying very hard.. Hmmm.. And our effort is not put to waste~ I'M HERE TO ANNOUNCE~ PASIR RIS G12 IS CERTIFIED~~!!! WHOA~~!! Praise God~!

Hmmm..
I kinda miss..
messaging you..
Since you said we shouldn't message for a while..
I don't know how long is a while..
Feel like messaging you..
But to think of it..
Better don't..
You're probably still very stressful..
About your work..
About your things..
About your worries..
Better don't fan you..



Hello..

This week will be a hard week for me to pass..
Training for the whole week..
Not able to go home..
Not able to charge my phone..
Not able to use the computer..

But this week is also a testing of my faith to God..
The faith that I need to get past this week without difficulty..
Only God knows what's going to happen and have happened..

Please pray for me..
Thanks..



Sian..

The past one week has been a crappy week for me..
Just don't feel like working..
Don't feel like staying in camp..
Don't feel like doing anything with relation to ARMY..

Last Tuesday..
Guess who I saw..
Guess Guess Guess..
Felicia Chin and Rui En~!
Cool right?
Crap..
They were in camp to film some TV series..
Don't know what is it about..
Something about Army..
ARMY AGAIN...
Crap..

Then the next day..
Thought I can have a proper time playing basketball..
In the end..
Played only for 10 minutes..
Then called back to office..
Suck..
Crap..
To do some paperwork..

Temper has been my biggest weakness..
Have pray about it..
Has also thought of never to flare up again..
trying my very best to control and to put out inside of me..
But sometime my emotions just run over me..
Just too strong to handle..
Then will become moody..
Especailly when I'm worried..
Lonely..
Sad..
Didn't mean to do any harm..
Just want to say sorry to those who I have behaved like that in front of..
SORRY~~

Just think that I'm sick and tired..
Sick and tired of life..
Sick and tired of the things in it..
Just want to escape to somewhere to relax..
Somewhere that I can find back my own self..
But I know..
That will come with a price..
Friendships..
Family..
Studies..
But I'm just sick and tired of all these..
Things that had happened..
Hmmm...
How I wish I can have someone to talk to..
But everybody seems so busy..
Busy with their own stuff..
Busy with their own worries..
Just too busy..
I don't blame them..
If anyone need someone to talk to..
I will always be there for them..

Why are we acting like suddenly become strangers..
We are not like that in the past..
Used to have lots to talk about..
You're busy..
It's okay..
I understand..
Had a period of busyness myself before..
I know how it feels like..
Just cannot breathe properly..
With all the things up to your neck..

Or you're still avoiding?
I don't know..
I just don't want our friendship get bad because of this..
Try to let it go..
Know it's difficult..
Try to let it go..

Anyway..
For those who are reading this blog..
If you want to find me..
Don't message me..
Give me a call..
No matter what..
Thank you..

To keep track:
Number of driving lesson taken : 08/33
Basic Theory Test : Passed
Final Theory Test : Not taken
Comment : Still have a long way to go.........



Hello..

Yesterday was Heart.sport..
We had soccer league..
Region A vs Region D
My region now vs my region then
hmmm..
Played the usual postition that I'm used to..
But just a bit up to the winger's postition..
First time playing with the Region A guys..
Not used to the way they play..
But slowly in the game I blended in..
Then it started to rain..
But the game continued..
We played for victory..
Though there were mistakes here and there..
Hope the next game will not have..
In the end..
Region A 03 , Region D 01
Good scoreline..
And I fullfilled my dream..
That is to run all the way to the byline..
Just like C. Ronaldo..
With the ball, of course..
But too bad, I didn't score..
It's okay..
Try again in the next game..


But after the game..
Something happened..
I started to act moody..
Alan said that I looked like I'm going to die..
Lips white..
Face pale..
People saw my weakness..
Signs of "Low Sugar Level"
The problem that I always have..
If I skipped my lunch and played sports..
Supposely eating with the group of guys and ladies..
But in the end..
Couldn't take it..
Going to faint..
So left the group..
So sorry..
Please forgive me..

Then on the bus..
Gastric acting up too..
Crap.. Sucks..
Feels like going to faint..
Then the bus so long..
Prayed for strength..
Thank God..
Didn't faint..
And made it back to home..
Brought food..
$15 worth..
Felt like a pig..
But that is to get back my sugar level..
And that's for yesterday..

Today.. Easter Sunday..
Pastor Marian preached..
Wonderful message..
Compare..
Never do that..
Souls got saved
Praise God~
After that, went to lunch with the group..
And then, went home..
Did nothing until 4.30..
Basketball training time~
After anouncing that I was back to basketball 2 weeks ago..
Treasured every training..
And as usual, myself only..
But today, people in the court playing..
Mixed around to play 4-on-4..

But almost broke my leg..
Did a jump shot..
Lesson Learnt..
Never jump with your weaker leg..
And land with your weaker leg..
At least I know..
I still can control my movement..
I miss the risk..
The risk of getting injury..
The feeling of getting injury..

After that, reached home..
Watched AI..
Nice show..
Pitied the kid called David..
Looked so real..
But he's a robot..
Looking for someone to love him..
Happy ending..

Never to give up..
Even though you faced some difficulties..
Always pray to God..
Ask for strength..
Ask for wisdom..
Ask for Answers..
Never give up..
Remember..
There is people out there to encourage you and support you..
You are not alone..



Hmmm.. The past one week, for me, is a phyiscal one.. Having the Close Combat Training, it is like training how to fight.. So after this whole course, you will kow how to defend yourself from all kinds of attacks.. Ha ha..

But one thing that we thought of.......

"What IF we are REALLY being attacked.. Would we really going to use all the fighting skils to defend ourselves? Would we still remember how to execute them against our attacker?" After asking that, we started to laugh over it.. Never to think about it again..

Last Wednesday, at G12, it was fun~ Hmmm.. To think of it.. It's like every month also have someone's birthday! Last Wednesday, it was Joyce's birthday.. Thank God the cake is not a big one.. HA HA.. The cake is only a cup size, enough for only for her..

The message was good.. Teaching us not to give up in life and always DEPEND on GOD..

During fellowship, Jan throw us a, hmmm.., how should I say.., funny-but-very-clever-yet-require-a-lot-of-thinking question..

Jan : "Hey.. Something to ask you all.. Hmmm.. We have BELLY BUTTON right?"

Us : "Ya.. So?"

Jan : "So.. Then do Adam and Eve have BELLY BUTTON too?"

Us : "????????"

Jan : "Think of it.. We know that we are born with umbirl cord right? So we have BELLY BUTTON.. But Adam and Eve were not born ma.. They were made ma.. So I think that they have no BELLY BUTTON.."

Tao Liang : "But God says that He made us just like them.. So since we have, they also have.."

Then this topic was discussed for the whole fellowship, but sad to said.. We don't have any answer for that..

Now's your turn to think about it.. The topic is "Do Adam and Eve have BELLY BUTTON?" Think about it..

Hmmm.. Last Thursday, again.. It was a last minute booking for my driving lesson.. Haiz.. Why always like that de.. Haiz.. Anyway.. The lesson went good.. Just that I almost fell asleep during lesson.. Ha ha.. And I was driving.. Practical.. You get it? Ha ha.. Anyway.. I finally mastered how to move off from a stop within 3 seconds~ The instructor is like playing a game with me that I had to move off within 3 seconds.. So in the end, I won.. Ha ha.. Hmmm.. The instructors at the drving centre is like very good lor..

Yesterday was GOOD FRIDAY~ The day that Jesus was hanged on the cross to die for all our sins.. A VICTORIOUS DAY~! Whoa~ The message preached by Pastor Lim is very powerful.. A lot of people received Jesus into their lives~! Praise God~ The whole heaven rejoices~! Then after that, everybody had their own plans.. Haiz.. Sian.. Hmmm.. Thank God for Wey Zi and Garbial, we went to play street soccer with their friends.. Well.. Street soccer is not my cup of tea.. Never like to play that kind of soccer.. Anyway.. We played.. And to my surprise, Actually I know how to play.. Hmmm.. And it's like I'm training for the game later today.. AGAINST REGION D, MY FORMER REGION~ Though didn't score any goals.. I learnt how to control the ball better.. FOR TODAY"S GAME, ALL THE BEST~

Last night, watched Cinderella Story on tv.. Hmmm.. Nice show.. Enjoyed it.. Having a happy ending.. But it left me think..


Some of us are living in our problems..
Just like Cinderella in the show..
Being tortured by stepmother and step sisters..
Wanted to enter into the best colleage..
Studied very hard..
But none of this came true..
Until you come out of the stupid big box..
Take off your stupid mask..
Being the real YOU..
Then everything falls into place..
And sometimes plus an extra free gift..
And a happy ending..


To keep track:
Number of driving lesson taken : 05/33
Basic Theory Test : Passed
Final Theory Test : Not taken
Comment : Still have a long way to go.........



Today is the First day for everything.. First day for the Close Combat Training in camp, that will last the whole week.. It will be super tired after each day..

Today, although it's the first day for CCT.. We learnt how to throw and be thrown by each other.. So fun.. But at the same time, pain.. My right ankle almost got twisted and sprained.. Haiz..

The feeling of being thrown is like you're flying across the mat, using the motion to bring you forward..

Today is also the first day for my driving lessons~ Whoa ho~ It was like the last minute thing that I had today's lesson..

Yesterday, I checked the booking list for this week.. And to my horror.. That wasn't any slot for me.. I was like so sad.. Then have to wait for next week then have slots.. Haiz..

So never mind..

Then this morning.. Don't know why.. Perhaps is God's will.. I checked the booking list again.. Then I saw SLOTS for today~ I was like so happy.. Then immediately booked and paid for it.. Ha Ha..

Then just now went for the lesson.. The intsructor was very nice.. Look like 'ang mo'.. But he's not.. Ha Ha.. Hmmm.. Anyway.. Everything goes well.. The vehicle actually moves when it's my turn to handle it.. And it's like I went through the lesson quite fast! The instructor was quite impressed.. Then he asked me.. "Did you drive any vehicle before? Because your techniques are there.." Then I told him ya.. Then he went "Oh I see.." Ha Ha..

I guess this will be the start of my driving lessons.. Ha Ha..

I think God is trying to tell me something...

This few days.. Whenever I popped in my PSP to listen to music.. The song from Casting Crowns is played.. "Praise Him In The Storm" This song somehow touched me whenever it is played.. No matter it is live or from my PSP.. But it just touched my heart.. And the funny thing is that.. After the English version by Caasting Crowns is played finished.. The Chinese version of that song, sang by Pastor Mong Yee, Chee Kong and Diana, played next..

Somehow.. God is trying to tell me that NO MATTER what happens.. Just PRAISE HIM.. WHETHER IT IS SUNSHINE OR IN A STORM.. Just praise him..



Today is the most TIRING day.. COOKING at Nic's place.. Making the whole kitchen all MESSING and DIRTY.. OILY.. Ha Ha..

But we are so bad.. Auntie cleaned up everything for us.. Thank you Auntie.. Hmm.. I cooked my most FAVOURITE Yi MEE.. But it's a bit off the taste.. But it's still taste okay.. Ha Ha.. Still have my grandmother's taste.. Hmmm.. Forget to take pictures.. Sorry..

And also I think I'm going back to BASKETBALL.. Somehow I miss the feeling of getting injury.. And it's time for me to improve somemore.. Also that since GOD has given me the ability to play.. To be the MVP of the game.. Ha Ha.. I have always like to be a MVP for Basketball.. Being the superstar in Basketball..

Well.. Coming back to Basketball.. It will be forever.. I will be serious about it.. NOT giving up anymore..

After telling a lot of people.. They are very happy that I came back to Basketball.. I also don't know why.. Ha Ha.. Maybe they miss me playing with them.. Maybe something else..

Since GOD give me the ability to play.. Then May God Help me and protect me..