Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.


Patrick Ethan Goh
wishing to be a teacher
loves to cooking
hates bacstabbers
hates being taken for granted
loves God
loves you
loves chocolates






Jovin
Sheryl
Jasmine Gan
Joelle
Joyce
David Ng
Sarah Goh


February 2007
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designer Dancing Sheep
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Dear Diary..

today was the day that i felt out of place in the kitchen.. somehow, i feel that the kitchen is a place very unfamiliar to me.. and something even worse.. I HAD A TEST TODAY.. in the beginning, i somehow cannot find the things that i need.. but thank GOD, after a while, everything went back to the normal..

i practically didn't talk today during the practical.. just quietly do my test..




somehow.. i have my dinner alone today.. kinda lonely you may say.. but i have to get used to it..



Dear Diary..

This few days will be very hard for me.. very hard to go through..

cheer me on okay?

thank you..



Dear Diary..

just now cried like a baby.. felt better than the whole day..

since it's one day away from my birthday, let me make a wish..

to you who is reading:

i know birthday is a yearly thing.. that the person celebrating it should and rightfully receive presents, ad be happy.. but to me, it's different.. i rather you people around me be happy than i be happy.. so i ask of you.. don't get me anything.. use the money to get yourself something nice.. or to help others.. make yourself happy.. then i will be happy.. that's my wish..

from The Crown Prince



Dear Diary..

this morning.. i almost cannot get out of bed.. when i wake up this morning, i felt that my whole body got no energy.. cannot move my body.. even my hands.. but thank God.. after a hour of sleep, i could be able to get out of bed and go to church.. at least..

today was the worst day of my life.. it's the period of the time again.. only one person knows what i am refering to.. something happened to my family during this period.. and i can say.. only me is feeling what it should be felt.. i don't know.. :'(













this thought came to my mind..
"when you have the something,"
"you don't treasure it.."
"you will take granted that it will always there.."
"but when you lost it,"
"you will want it back.."
"you said that you will treasure it if you have it back.."
"but the truth is.."
"you may not have it back.."














i feel very alone..
i feel very redundant in this place..
very..
very..
alone..



Dear Diary..

today, i can say, was my worst performence in soccer.. it's like the whole match, to me, lasted only 15 minutes.. after that 15 minutes, i cannot run.. i cannot focus.. i cannot even block or chase a little kid.. i was like out of place in the field suddenly.. just don't know what to do.. maybe because of the porridge week that has done the energy.. and i can really conclude.. eating porridge can NEVER give you energy.. see what it has done to me.. i almost died in the field.. with hypervert.. thank God i didn't..

I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO EAT MEAT NOW.. OTHERWISE I WILL BECOME A VEGETATIAN!!

next time..
don't you ever ask me to play the things that i'm not supposed to do..
when i feel it's right and i'm taught that way,
you better don't change anything..
because today..
although i know that i didn't do very well like last week..
you didn't too..
with a lot of people hating you..
and you pissed me off..
really..
JUST PISSED ME OFF..












it's okay that you didn't see me play today..
because i know that you have your stuff..
never blame you..
and will never blame you..



Dear Diary..

Thursday and Friday are 2 boring days for me for the first time.. because of the wisdom tooth op, i have to stay at home and rest.. and for the whole 2 days, i have been resting until a point of time, i feel that the more i rest, the more tired i get..

Thursday i made Chocolate Cupcakes.. i got my brother to help me with it.. i used "wireless" to communicate with him.. because i cannot talk much.. so i have to point point and act out, just like playing charades.. hmmm.. i think i have improved a lot in that game.. anyway, the cupcakes turns out fine.. just that they don't look like cupcakes.. a bit flat.. but i shall improve on it.. too bad you can't get to eat them..

Friday night was Super Duper Octobter.. rolling toilet rolls.. hoola hoops.. eating 7 hotdogs and 4 cans of coke in the shortest time.. and the most funny presentation.. "I'm selling my region! It's clean and green, with 8 G12!....."

the wound pain somehow has the pain back again.. and the thread that stitched up the wound was tickling the back of my throat.. causing me to cough and stuff.. haiz..

a message to the TEAM(you know who you all are):
i know that you all are trying to find and get me a birthday present.. i'm very touched.. but this is my wish.. that all of you don't use the money to get anything.. but instead.. since you all are going for a Perth trip, and are very excited about it, can see.., use that money to enjoy yourself more in Perth.. buy yourself something nice with the money.. then i will be happy..













suddenly the catch phase comes into my mind..
"yesterday is history",
"tomorrow is a mystery",
"today is a gift",
"that's why we call it a present.."



numb about a lot of things..












numb about busybodies...












numb about problems in life...












just numb...



Dear Diary..

today just done my wisdom tooth operation.. Thank God it was a success.. leaving a fair amount of pain.. but after the tooth is taken out, my jaws feel better.. not having the painful feeling le..

i think that the doctor must be regretting operating on me.. because whenever he wants to do the stitches on my gums, i will slowly start to close my mouth.. and then he will say:"Patrick.. Open up your mouth and relax your tongue.." but after i did that, after a while, i will start to close it up again.. but that's human nature right? so cannot blame me..

the doctor, while operating on my tooth, was very pro.. HIS PHONE RANG! unbelieveable.. but it's true.. and guess what? the next time he do is: "Patrick.. relax and close your mouth first.. HELLO~........" he listened to the phone.. pro right?

the doctor put in so much pressure to take out my tooth, that i think that he had a full body workout.. i could feel that the pressure that he put in.. because the pillow that i was lying on sank down.. and that tooth just broke into pieces.. and i didn't know.. pro right?

but i must say.. it's God's hands that are guiding and leading the doctor's hands.. because the tooth itself is very near to one of the nerves in the gum.. that will lead to temperary numbness on the lips and tongue for don't know how long.. and THANK AND PRAISE GOD that i didn't have that feeling.. GIVING GOD ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY!


yesterday.. during the class.. something happened.. my butt was being pinched by a girl.. yes.. you heard it right.. pinched by a girl.. and guess what i told her.. "if you do it again, i will not hesitate to shout haressment and tell the class tutor.." because it was not the first time this kind of thing happened in class.. of course not on me.. but on another guy.. and later in the day, she told me in front of a small group, "Patrick, go tone up your butt.." then i was like, "I think that my butt is fine.. and that it's none of your business whether my butt is toned up or not.. because it's not your and it's NOT FOR YOU!" so ya.. frreaking making my blood boil..






















guess you just want to do the right thing in God's way..
i'm proud of you..
jia you..
i will be waiting..
no matter what..



please don't abandon me..

















don't take me for granted..













don't tell me what to do when you don't know how i feel..



Dear Diary..



last Friday i was taught to cook Malay food.. quite nice.. i find that the local cuisine is much more easier to cook than the western cuisine.. although i feel very stressed up for the Asian practical because of the timing given by the lecturer, i feel that it's easier to know whether the dishes will turned out nice.. because we used to the local dishes more than the western dishes..

Malay Food that i cooked.. Look nice!

Some more of it..

the previous Saturday was the EFC outing.. the beginning plan was to go to West Coast Park for a picnic.. but because of the bad weather, the picnic was changed to the Vivo City.. there was like a lot of food.. Fruit tarts, chips, sandwiches, French Fries.. and Nugguts.. so much food.. but all of us had fun.. charades was very fun.. especially when you see others acting out the words that they are supposed to act out.. really enjoyed myself.. hope all of you have enjoyed yourself..

kinda cannot wait for the wisdom tooth op to come on 24/10.. kinda of excited.. okay.. it sounds a bit wrong as i should feel scared.. but no.. i feel excited.. something's wrong with me.. anyway, i just want that tooth to be removed.. because it is giving the pain at my jaw area.. very irriating.. and also i will be having 3 days of "holiday" after that op.. so i plan to make double chocolate fudge cupcakes.. firstly to make for you and the team.. secondly to keep myself to occupied so that i won't be thinking so much.. thirdly to practice baking..



yesterday was heart.sports.. and somehow i got injured by my usher group leader.. last night was a painful night.. couldn't really sleep properly.. shin was like pain.. so had a X-ray at CGH this afternoon.. thank God that the doctor said nothing serious.. just the skin area that is pain.. and was given some painkillers and cream to apply.. hope it recover soon..



this coming week will be the shortest week in school for me.. school only on Monday and Tuesday.. then "holiday" until next week.. because of the op.. so ya..





this few days.. i have been feeling emo.. it just come and go.. especially whenever i'm at home.. alone.. just feel that sometimes, they just want me to be at home when no one is at home.. i don't know why too.. but ya.. just stay at home.. and do nothing..



please pray for me.. pray that everything will go smooth with the op on Wednesday.. and speedy recovery..





















i'm sorry that i have made you worried for me last night..
and i can say..
only you worry for me..
i'm touched..
really..







Dear Diary..

guess what? i'm using the computer in school to do this entry.. haha.. never expect myself to use the computer in school.. haha..

today's first lesson will be very short as the lecturer is having meeting now..

guess what? i just got a new phone for myself.. it's like a birthday present bought for myself..

shall write more tonight..



Sick IN THE HEAD!












Going CRAZY!



Dear Diary..


i'm just very amused by the ad nowadays.. here 2 examples.. hope you all will like them and have agood laugh..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2TORg62sn8
Indian Curry House

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDezxBpooXw
"Check out my matching pipes"



Dear Diary..



now that i'm alone..






i kinda miss the loner life..







maybe shouldn't think that way..








but that's how i feel now..









loner..



Dear Diary..

today went swimming.. whoa.. hmmm.. it's been like... 1 year plus.. since i swam.. haha.. and i feel fit today.. but it was fun.. just sitting in the pool and slack.. of course not swimming alone.. haha.. hmmm.. swam like 6 laps of length and i'm exhasted.. my stamina is seriously dropped a lot.. got to swim more..

and after the swim, went to eat at Clementi.. food seriously tasted very very nice after a nice swim..

then went down for Heart.sports.. you may think that i'm crazy.. after swimming went for more sports.. just cannot stop being active.. haha..

played soccer for Region A.. guess the result.. 10-1! won against Region B.. but still not tired.. haha..

no cramps on legs! haha..











although i have nothing that is special to show you..
hope you will still think of me as special..

Sausages (please don't ask me to make them..)

never get yourself drunk during your school term in your lifetime.. that's what happened to my classmate, who is my partner for the practical.. i scolded him because he told me he drunk until 6am in the morning.. can you believe it? OMG.. i didn't splash water on him, he should be grateful.. hmmm.. i shouldn't say never get drunk during your school term.. it should be never drink any alcohol and get drunk in your lifetime.. it's not good AT ALL!





i think it's my turn who needs a break..

a break from everything..

just to get away to a place..

a place where there is no one..

no one..

just myself..

don't know what i'm thinking about too..

just think..

but there is nothing..

i'm just a very, very weak guy..

who appeared to be strong..

an emotional unstable guy..

who has emo almost everyday..

not putting myself down..

and not that i want to have all this..

but they just come..

create some damages..

and leave..

i'm trying very hard not to think about it..

but...



just feel like crying suddenly..


































don't ask me why..



Dear Diary..

SCHOOL SUCKS~!
THE SCHEDULE SUCKS~!
I SUCK~!

today was the MOST SUCKY day of my entire life.. everything was just SUCK! they told us before the exams that our new schedule don't allow us to have break on Saturday and instead.. having break on Monday.. clever me go and plan tons of things on the next 10 weeks of Mondays.. and guess what they told us today?

"Good news. Saturday will be free for all of you and we will change the practical to Monday."

GOOD NEWS?
haha.. freak.. DAMN FREAKING SIAN! WHATEVER!!













i know what you mean..
totally..
*poof*